I went to a marriage seminar at our church Sunday night. We watched a DVD featuring Gary Thomas talking about his book Sacred Marriage. One of the topics focused on the idea that some spouses really only care about the last 48 hours.

In the average marriage, the last 48 hours may not be pretty. Here are some of my downfalls – just from today.

• I woke up frustrated because I didn’t get out of bed as early as I would have liked.
• I was short with the kids at various points.
• I became really frustrated when we lost a remote (because it’s really worth it to get really frustrated over a lost remote).

So, what if I had to re-start my 48 hour clock every time I made a mistake, got unnecessarily frustrated, or copped a bad attitude?

If you’re anything like me, you’d never emerge from that last 48 hours! And that’s precisely the point.

Marriage can’t be based on the last 48 hours, hoping for some magical stretch where things come together and go right. That’s like hoping the Browns make the playoffs next year – a possibility, but unlikely in most scenarios.

And the fruit of the Spirit is . . . “perseverance” or “long-suffering” depending on your translation of Galatians 5.  To withhold conversation, sex, money, affirmation, or otherwise play silly performance-based games in marriage is to deny the power of God to bring fruit in your life over the long term. Long-term marriages require forgiveness, communication, and seeking godly satisfaction with the realization God will satisfy us in ways our spouse never could or should.

Here’s hoping and praying you’ll consider how you can build a marriage with a perspective much larger than 48 hours!

Think. How much of your marriage is performance based?

Act. Be sure to stay as consistent as you can, even when your spouse’s “performance” isn’t great. Forgive, evaluate, encourage, sympathize, seek better solutions, strive for growth. And do so with the long run in view, just like God works with us with the long run in view.

I went to a marriage seminar at our church Sunday night. We watched a DVD featuring Gary Thomas talking about his book Sacred Marriage. One of the topics focused on the idea that some spouses really only care about the last 48 hours.

In the average marriage, the last 48 hours may not be pretty. Here are some of my downfalls – just from today.

• I woke up frustrated because I didn’t get out of bed as early as I would have liked.
• I was short with the kids at various points.
• I became really frustrated when we lost a remote (because it’s really worth it to get really frustrated over a lost remote).

So, what if I had to re-start my 48 hour clock every time I made a mistake, got unnecessarily frustrated, or copped a bad attitude?

If you’re anything like me, you’d never emerge from that last 48 hours! And that’s precisely the point.

Marriage can’t be based on the last 48 hours, hoping for some magical stretch where things come together and go right. That’s like hoping the Browns make the playoffs next year – a possibility, but unlikely in most scenarios.

And the fruit of the Spirit is . . . “perseverance” or “long-suffering” depending on your translation of Galatians 5.  To withhold conversation, sex, money, affirmation, or otherwise play silly performance-based games in marriage is to deny the power of God to bring fruit in your life over the long term. Long-term marriages require forgiveness, communication, and seeking godly satisfaction with the realization God will satisfy us in ways our spouse never could or should.

Here’s hoping and praying you’ll consider how you can build a marriage with a perspective much larger than 48 hours!

Think. How much of your marriage is performance based?

Act. Be sure to stay as consistent as you can, even when your spouse’s “performance” isn’t great. Forgive, evaluate, encourage, sympathize, seek better solutions, strive for growth. And do so with the long run in view, just like God works with us with the long run in view.