Select Page

Reflecting On 2022’s Massive Personal Changes: It Was Time

It was time.

As 2022 drew to a close, that phrase kept coming to my mind. But, the phrase itself risks some misinterpretation. So, let this post serve both as some clarity and my attempt to summarize everything that happened.

I never could have imagined…

…so much life change coming about in the span of just one year. When you hear the phrase “it was time”, often it carries negative connotation. I’d also venture the possibility of an implied meaning of something taken longer than it should have. This might make you think of the phrase: “it was about time”.

In March, I made an announcement to the congregation of Goss Memorial Church that I would be resigning as their pastor at the end of June. In the weeks leading up to that announcement, Julie and I had a sense God’s hand was stirring the pot of our lives. We shared with the congregation that I had accepted a Ministry Partner Development position with e3 Partners and that my part time missions work would continue in addition to the new position. The actual events came about very quickly. We prayed in response to sensing God’s leading, the opportunity presented itself, I completed multiple interviews, they offered the position, and I accepted. Neither I nor our church leadership entered 2022 prepared for such a change.

Wow. Wow? Yes, wow. At times I had thought I would retire from Goss Memorial. Since I’ve been married to Julie, I’ve only had one other full time employer, and that lasted less than a year. Twenty-two (22!) years. Wow! A change had happened in real time but processing it took much longer than the events themselves.

In addition to that change, the other following significant events took place:

  • Julie and I traveled to Turkey and Greece in search of God’s will for potential work in those areas.
  • I served as an assistant coach for Firestone CLC’s Cross Country program.
  • I trained for and completed a 100 mile race in October.
  • I traveled to Italy after Thanksgiving for leadership development among refugee workers.
  • We began attending a new church.

Maybe that doesn’t sound like a lot to you. For us, after 22 years involved in one church and primarily one set of rhythms, it meant “Wow!”

Timing, Processing, and Lessons Learned

I didn’t seek to come up with some creative title. I meant it. It was time. And no, I don’t mean “it was about time”. I truly believe God led and ordained these changes. My passions have centered more on mission work over the past several years, so the “what” didn’t exactly surprise. The “when” definitely surprised. Although I (and we as a married couple) collaborated regarding specific decisions, we would both say unequivocally that God orchestrated the timing as only He could. It was time. But what does it all mean?

About pastoring and transitions…

Naturally, folks will wonder about a pastor’s motives when they move to another position. I don’t believe it’s unfair to say people in any job would wonder about someone’s motives, especially if that person influenced them well. All part of the human reaction. But pastoring involves unique realities. It combines spiritual, professional, and personal in a unique and often complicated way.

This may sound harsh, but if you attend a church, it is likely your pastor doesn’t view you as their friend. It doesn’t make sense to obligate a  paid church leader to befriend everyone in their church. If your pastor has friends in your church (I know I did), don’t be jealous. It can be a healthy thing. But most pastors develop and foster close friendships outside the church. This is healthy too. Regardless, pastors can lead people effectively with varying relational dynamics.

So when a pastor leaves a position, here’s what happens. They have likely had a spiritual experience leading them to make this change. They love people and relationally are torn since they know leaving will create some pain and uncertainty. Those in the congregation feel anything from grief to relief. Some wonder if the pastor has left due to the church’s faults or some secret infighting. The church needs new leadership. Often, due to personal connections, people leave churches in pastoral transitions. This affects giving and volunteer positions. Mix in human emotions, sin, judgment, varying levels of respect for that pastor, sentiment, the overall position and history of that particular organization, and you have quite the combination. Do you see how the spiritual, professional, and personal can (and do) get intertwined?

For me personally, moving forward really meant just that. It meant God clearly revealed to Julie and me it was time to move forward (bold for emphasis) to something else. To say “It was time” does not indicate a statement of value, but a statement of fact. Did I have opinions about the church and its future? Did I have varying levels of relational effectiveness and depth with people in the church? Did I have my own emotional situation to process after such a long time in one place? Was I affected by the summertime events that brought leadership change? Of course, of course, and a million times of course. I am a human being. All of these fall squarely into the realm of expected responses to a transition. But none of these responses changed the simple reality…it was time.

So what is healthy processing and how did that happen in 2022 with so much change happening?

Good question. I have to present “intentional” as the best word to describe my (and our) approach.

Let me give some bullet point examples here. We intentionally:

  • spent time together as a married couple and as a family. These decisions have kept vital communication lines open.
  • sought the Lord regarding what He needed to reveal to us. I can personally say I am growing in my understanding of both how I succeeded and where I failed in leadership. I look forward to continued growth and learning.
  • reminded ourselves of who we are in Christ. This has proved incredibly valuable.
  • sought counsel, both professionally and through trusted friends.
  • said “no” to people and opportunities and will continue to do so as future efforts come into focus.
  • avoided public and all unhelpful comments and conversations about church events and leadership transition.
  • withdrew our membership at Goss. This was tough for our friends at Goss to understand and a tough step for us. But, we believe the church needed to have the space to move forward without us. We weren’t planning to attend for the foreseeable future so we knew we couldn’t make the commitment membership demands. No membership also meant removing the temptation to get involved, influence, or vote on the church’s direction. Again, we felt this to be the healthiest step for both us and for the church.
  • have sought what is best for each of our family members. We have tried our best to run our decisions through that filter.

Has all of this resulted in healthy outcomes?

Let me respond to this with some factual statements:

  • I can honestly say we do not feel our forward movement in this new season of life demands an opposition to either organizations or specific people from the past. We maintain friendships from past church and community ministry involvement.
  • No, in such a time of transition, our relationships have not all remained on the same levels. For reasons stated above, we count this as an expected part of transition.
  • God has affirmed His leading in our lives through multiple otherwise unexplainable events and occurrences over the past several months. This has encouraged us greatly.
  • We regularly pray for the best future outcome at Goss Memorial Church. We continue to count it a joy to serve in missions partnership and appreciate their ongoing support.
  • I really am enjoying my new work. No, this doesn’t mean I hated my recent past and have now found relief in a “new job”. I believe it means God moved me to a place where He wanted me to work and contribute to the expansion of His Kingdom.
  • “Senior Pastor of Goss Memorial Church” will always represent a position I filled, but will never equate to my identity. Ever.
  • No, our lives have not achieved a state of perfection. Memories, reminiscing, feelings, joys and sorrows, and forgiveness all ebb and flow. We expect they will for some time to come. This reality re-presents itself as each year ends and a new one dawns.

Blessings!

Yes, I and our family have enjoyed great blessing throughout this year as well. I praise God to share:

  • The meaningful experience of training for and completing my first 100 mile race in October. What a team of great people who came together to help pull that off!
  • The continued influence of helpful, empathetic, and challenging friends throughout this year.
  • The pleasure of getting to know new friends throughout this year.
  • I got to witness a variety of concerts this year. Live music always connects with me in powerful ways.
  • We were blessed by the love and support shown to us by the congregation, including many thoughtful gifts, as my time at Goss ended.
  • The change of pace the second half of this year has allowed for meaningful spiritual growth during this time.
  • I understand much better what it takes to get a family to church on a regular basis.

Sometimes in life…

It’s just time. It was time for the changes of 2022. If you’ve read this far, I would hope you find this helpful to see how God can work in ways and times we may least expect. I hope we never fear change, instead embracing the opportunities God brings our way. I would also encourage avoiding the fear of change in the lives of those close to you. Relationships, ministries, positions, leaders, churches, and seasons all change. Yes, that brings difficulty. But it also requires faith that we will eventually see God’s hand and purpose in all of it.

I wish you all a blessed 2023. Thank you for reading.

 

Kevin Burkholder

Serving Full Time in Missions Since 2022

  • Follower of Jesus since 1990.
  • Married to Julie since 1999. 
  • Dad of three wonderful kids.
  • Pastor of Goss Memorial from 2010-2022.

Recent Content

Tuesday Rambling 5.31.22 – Fiery Reactions to Tragedy

Good morning. Tragedy has hit our nation hard and continues to affect those in our world. Some fiery rambling... Yes I'm mad. The hurt and fallout from Uvalde and other incidents of mass killing continue to pile up, altering the courses of lives (and obviously ending...

Tuesday Rambling 5.24.22 – Reflecting On Anxiety

I'm rambling this morning about anxiety: The sermon I prepared for this past Sunday looked at Jesus' command to his disciples in the sermon on the mount: "Do not be anxious." We know many struggle with ongoing anxiety, even disabling at times. We should not hesitate...

Popular Links

one

two

three

Most Popular TDA Articles

1.

2.

3.

TDA Posts

Tuesday Rambling 6.7.22 – Responding to Our Culture of Violence

Rambling today about the unfortunate topic of violence: I have written before regarding violent events. Today, as in the past, I write from a perspective all too close. In the past, we've lamented young people both brutally murdered and casualties of street violence....

My beautiful bride, Julie, and I were married in 1999.  We are blessed to raise and shepherd three children.
Some of my hobbies are running, theology, the following baseball, and learning about the church in America in 2013.
I am passionate about the Word of God.  My faith in Jesus Christ and the resulting power of the Holy Spirit living inside me has brought me to a place in my life where I desire to look for God’s purposes in everything.  There is no other way to say it: I have been thoroughly changed by Jesus and I labor so others will live changed lives in Jesus as well.

Have a question or request?

1 + 13 =