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I spent from Sunday night through Tuesday afternoon with a group of guys I have hung out with for a long time.  It may seem like a waste to start every Tuesday morning with the same group of guys over, oh, about the last eight years. And if you knew them, you’d have all the more reason to think that!

Seriously, here’s a short post about valuing key relationships.

1. Identify them.

Seems dumb, right? But, do you know who your key relationships are? I hope you’d say your family (spouse, children, grandchildren, etc.). After that, who would make your list? Key business contacts? Friends from church, or the past? Neighbors? Before you can value those key relationships, it’s good to know who they are. Not all relationships are meaningful at the same level. It’s good to know who your key relationships are just as much as who they aren’t.

Ask yourself: who could you least afford to live without? This should help identify those key people.

2. Value them spiritually.

Having things in common with people is one thing, but as a believer you should value your friends and family spiritually. Teach the Bible to your kids, take a spiritual retreat with a close group, pray for each other and stay in touch regularly regarding how to pray. Remember, these aren’t flimsy Facebook relationships. These are real, meaningful, people relationships. Value the people spiritually whether they are believers or not.

3. Really know them.

Really. Know them. Beyond how to pray, really get to know someone.  This usually means knowing their struggles and how you can support them in their struggles.  Vulnerability is key.  The willingness to add a burden to your life is important too. If you can’t take on someone’s burdens, don’t ask them to take on yours (unless they’re a counselor and you’re paying them!)

4. Encourage them.

If there isn’t anyone in your life who you’re encouraging, look in the mirror.  Sounds harsh, but it is very selfish to NOT encourage the key relationships. Be willing to point out good things. Build people up.

You think people will want to be around you if you don’t do this? Only if you have something they want.  And then, it’s not a key, valued relationship. It’s a matter of convenience.

Ask yourself: When was the last time you specifically encouraged key people in your life? How have you been blessed by people who encourage you?

Think. Who are the key relationships.

Act. Based on the thoughts shared here, how could you be more effective in these relationships?